


Dearest sister

by sassyandlost



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: DreamSmpAU, Fluff, Ghostbur, I'm Sorry, Ill edit the tags someday, Minecraft IRL, Niki | Nihachu and Ranboo are Siblings, Older Sibling Niki | Nihachu, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Floris | Fundy, Protective Puffy, Protective Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, niki centric, poem, probably, protective Niki Nihachu, sbi, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:08:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29361546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassyandlost/pseuds/sassyandlost
Summary: A bunch of poem-ish pieces inspired by that one AU where L'manburg is rebuilt by Niki and Fundy and the one and only Nichachu makes it a goal of her life to reunite pogtopia, dead people included.That's pretty much it.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Niki | Nihachu, Floris | Fundy & Niki | Nihachu, Niki | Nihachu & Everyone, Niki | Nihachu & Phil Watson, Niki | Nihachu & Ranboo, Niki | Nihachu & Wilbur Soot
Comments: 17
Kudos: 4





	1. What I regret

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [sister, will you lend me all your strength? i’m bringing everyone home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28296747) by [andthentheybow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andthentheybow/pseuds/andthentheybow). 



.

A young man that stood overlooking the lake  
Young man that sang songs, that loved and that cared  
A man that lived free and never alone  
He is long since gone.  
I gathered a family, then spilled treasured blood  
I conquered the world, but I am no god  
Just a cruel failure of a mortal man  
Sister lend me your strength.  
I know what you need, how could I not?  
I made my mistakes but never forgot  
I won’t give you much, instead of the tools  
Bend some of the rules.

You have my blessing; I’ll stay out your way  
I, too, want them back and I, too, am afraid  
I played with their lives, no remorse, no thought  
Sister forgive me not.  
But go on your journey and come back and bring  
With you dandelions, scattered in the wind  
Bring back young hearts filled with hope and beliefs  
That I dearly miss.  
I am aware that you managed so much  
Build back burned down tissues, healed a nasty scar;  
now for one last thing, go guide home a lamb that   
wandered off way to far

Believe me, I know that you would be lying   
If after this all you “wanted me to stay”  
But if you’re in need, beware that still I am  
Just a call away.

.


	2. Sister, what are you afraid of?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somtimes I go into a zoom class and think to myself that gods, we all look so young, so bright, so ready to achieve things, but ultimately also so, so dead inside.  
> I'm getting stubborn and i try to promise myself to finish this in 24 max, no matter what.

.

To find what’s lost, and at all cost  
For those you miss and love the most  
To bring our sorrows to an end,   
Sister I lend you my strength.

You gathered your wits yet? At least so you claim  
You go ahead, certain in your stride  
I follow you and keep you safe  
I fall in step, I’m by your side

Just like I was through the rise and fall.  
You weren’t sure if I understood;  
You shouldn’t have to worry at all -   
I’m with you   
and for good.

My friend, I borrow you my strength  
I’ll go for you every length  
Though not supposed so soon-to-be  
It’s good enough for me.  
‘Cause there was a home  
Then there was nothing  
Now there is something in-between  
Warm and bright lantern no-firework party  
You know what I mean 

You’re scared I’m not ready for what should always be  
You think it’s too hard for me to ignore  
And, you know, I would really like to forgive  
But I already forgot what for.  
So, don’t you worry, they will come back home  
I think we all know that they do belong.  
I know you felt trapped. I, too, felt alone  
Sister,   
it has been way too long.

I watched you worry and rebuild  
My love, I give you my time  
You have my hand to hold on tight  
And back to stand behind.  
Through sun and rain, I will be there  
My love, I now give you my word  
In stubbornness I can’t compare  
But I, for sure, will try.  
You’re never lost, never alone  
I - _we_ \- will always care for you.  
I’m not afraid of what you’ve done  
And what you are to do.  
It was so obvious in your eyes  
So I agree, I have no doubt  
My love, I give you all my strength  
And _oh_  
I am so proud.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it is clear how the subject changes?
> 
> Love you, please take care uf yourself mate. Go drink some water, paint your nails, listen to your favourite song.  
> Have you eaten today?
> 
> If you read this far please, consider commenting, it makes my day.


	3. Oh god, you are for real.

.

Daughter,

You’ve grown so much.  
Grown stronger, grown taller  
And apparently  
Grown out of my bullshit.

Maybe  
Just maybe  
We haven’t talked for too long.  
Seems like that’s what you thought, too.

You said you’ll get to me   
Even if you had to knock ten thousand times.  
You said you will bring together my sons  
Even if you had to raise the dead.  
I didn’t doubt you for a second.  
I heard you have already been watching over my grandson.

You came to my home and forcefully  
With no place for discussion  
Announced you’re going to bring peace.  
Despite the irony  
For even one second   
I didn’t stop to believe you.

You’re a peculiar little thing, miss Daughter  
If the fire that burns in your soul  
Is anything to go by.  
And I only ask one thing of you:  
Don’t hurt my boys more  
Than they’ve already hurt themselves.

I don’t know how you could possibly find peace  
For souls that already do not wish to be found,  
But you are by far the best,   
And, frankly, only person  
That might manage.

Miss Daughter, I have to admit  
I do admire your dedication.  
But I have my worries,  
I have to have my worries.  
After the world we’ve lived through  
I’m sure you understand.

I considered your proposal  
And after careful analyze  
It has been deemed   
Worth at least trying.  
As long, as the help is flowing both ways.  
I count on gaining from it  
At least as much as I sacrifice.

I hope you understand where I’m coming from.

With all my not-quite, almost love and care,  
 _Tired Father of Too Many Children_

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might even actualy write 5 "chapters" which is pretty funny since I wrote down a random number
> 
> huh


	4. where did all the doubt come from?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, So I'm just being chaotic and writing more letters ?  
> Aparently.  
> I really wanted to finish this one with just "Eret" because icon, but I enjoy the no names thing i have going on.  
> have fun.

.

Sister,

Seems like you’re hesitant  
Like you’ve allowed yourself to miss  
Like you forgot:  
Good think I’m here to remind you.

Nothing has changed.  
Well alright, we did  
And probably the whole world around us  
So yeah  
Everything has changed  
But I still love you all the same.

I build a world  
Where everyone is welcome  
Where there is no war  
And you can seek refuge and calm.  
I wear a crown, a gown and a cape,   
and no mask, no hood and no sunglasses  
my face is smiling bright to this world  
showing that face is indeed mine.  
When I let you in I saw the pride in your eyes.  
You should know, I’m proud of you, too

And when you ask me to come bac home?  
Come back to you, my friend, my son?  
There’s nothing I would rather do

_Always loving,  
Your Brother in Arms and Realms_

.


	5. It's looking up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, it took so fucking long, you have no idea. I should have this work finished in, like half an hour. I had a chapter finished but it really, really needs to be the last one, and for some reason I struggled with this? 
> 
> It's just that I probably had Corona and haven't really done anything for 2 weeks now, I'm fuckin up all my classes and can't focus for longer than 3 minutes at a time. Yeah, so I'm ranting about it in notes to a totally unrelated work.

.

Sister,  
I see you at my door  
Bright and devoted like before;  
I hesitate, just slightly so and  
“oh, how much you’ve grown”.  
You come in, through this sturdy door  
Eyeing up tables, chairs and shelves.  
We lost it, pushed away it all  
As not to lose ourselves.  
Now that I see you, in a bliss  
It wasn’t just your recipes  
Just songs or cakes or hugs so warm  
That I have dearly missed.

Sister   
I see you and I am scared.  
There’s still so much that I regret  
There’s still so much I can’t forget  
Um, I wasn’t prepared?  
Sister, I couldn’t help myself  
I missed you oh-so-fucking-much  
And with the careful, shaking hands  
I bring you closer to my heart.  
I’m happier, just for a day  
I’ve washed away all hatful grime  
You bid me home  
And here I am  
Wasting my chances one last time.

Old friend,   
Oh, how I admire your strength.  
I take your word and I give you my trust.  
There’s too much turmoil still left in this world  
So do what you must.  
You really don’t need to say it twice.  
I’m in  
I’m back  
I will be nice  
I taught myself to love and heal  
So take me now back home  
Where still, or rather now, again  
There’s laughter, smiles and no more pain.  
It’s our L’manberg.  
From before.  
And you deserve it all.

.


	6. A woman that has nothing will give her everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read tthis fic now? It was supposed to be, like, 200 words long. It's not. huh.

.

Dear diary,

Today I watched my best friend die.  
He’s blown up our home to smithereens then up and left.  
I don’t know what to say, I’ve been hurt before, of course  
But this is not something one can overcome.  
I… Oh god, I need a minute, I’m smudging the ink with my tears.

Okay. Okay, I think I can continue.  
But is there anything to continue about?  
There’s nothing left.  
Now we only have each other.

___

Dear diary,

No, no we don’t.   
In case you hadn’t heard. Tubbo took presidency.  
He was going strong at first. People had _hope._  
He spoiled us all with promises of rebuilt home, a safe place,  
Promises of _peace_. Maybe I let myself hope too soon.

What happened to all the promises he made? Us against the world?  
(U need to know, I scoffed there, there is just no way for me to portray it in writing…)  
It was supposed to be the two of them.  
Always the two of them. No shouting, no pain, no war, _no exile._  
I’m guessing someone missed the memo.  
Gosh, I’m so angry.  
How could he? How _could he_?!  
Why is this all happening?

___

Dear Diary.

It has been a year since L’manburg fell.  
We’re bringing it back up.

I… haven’t written in a while. In all honesty, I haven’t had enough strength. When Eret left… Oh, I guess you don’t know about that yet, do you? So. After it all, people left. A lot of them. Techno first, Phil followed. They went far away, entire worlds away, we haven’t really heard from them, neither how they are nor where they are… Next one was Quackity. He didn’t hide it, he’s told everyone he was tired, going away and not to look for him. Nobody blamed him. He packed his bags and all sight of him was gone.

It was a while, nearly two more months after, that Eret came up to us and said- said we needed to talk. He said he wanted peace. What could we say? We agreed. Dream walked with him to the portal. I know it’s what he needed, but it feels wrong. After Eret left, me and Fundy couldn’t really do much. We didn’t do anything. He couldn’t leave his room, I couldn’t write, the white house was so empty and quiet…

The white house. We’re getting to the hardest part, I think. Let me start it from: I’m not angry at Tubbo, not anymore. (In all honesty, just between us two, I forgave him quicker than I would like to admit. A lot quicker.) Under his rule the crater was thoroughly cleaned. It’s… certainly not beautiful, but it’s looking better. It looks greater, important. Three months ago, he left too. With no warning. He said he’s going to the wood, looking for materials or something along the lines. He never came back. I was worried for a week, almost, and then I realized he wasn’t coming back. But he wasn’t hurt. I know he’s not in danger, even if he doesn’t respond to my messages. Anyone’s messages. My sister instincts are calm. He’s safe. I have a feeling he’s with Tommy. I pray it to be true.

I’m not angry at Tubbo. I’m angry at Wilbur. Fundy says there have been sightings of his ghost. I haven’t seen him. He hasn’t either. Fucking coward.   
Is it…? Is it wrong that I miss him?

Me and Fundy, we’re holding an election. And we’re taking part. And we’re going to win. It has been going for too long, disorder and distress. Someone needs to put this to an end, and if it has to be me then so be it.

I’m building the home back. There are solid fundaments for a new nation, a small city is forming. People are healing and I will do all I can to help them on their way. There are only a few houses, but it will be strong again. If I have to give up all my strength, I will (I don’t really have that much left of it anyway, I’m afraid)

Until next time.

___

Dearest _fucking_ Diary,

I’m exhausted. Today is two years exactly since… you know. My home shattered, along with my heart? Since my best friend died. He’s been going around (that is, mostly when his family was still there…) as Ghostbur. Claimed he doesn’t remember. Frankly, I’m not buying this shit. 

We sat at his grave today, me and Fundy, willing him to come talk to us. Hi did not. We drank wine and celebrated without him. Our nation is growing strong. There are no more walls around and although sometimes when the city is half asleep when I’m out to breathe in the night I see Dream watching it from the nearby hill. I have no idea what his looking for, but I hope that when we’re finished, he finds it. I think I ran out of anger a long time ago. Today, when I was leading Fundy back, I saw him, too. His mask was off. I’m not sure what to make of it.

___

Diary,  
Hi again. I forgot to mention yesterday. I decided to write a letter to Philza. I hope it reaches it in good health. I hope it reaches him. Sapnanp, some time ago, came with news he met Quackity who met my boys… Who met Tommy and Tubbo. He says they’re all safe, the three of them. Doesn’t say anything more. 

Dream was on the hill today, the mask back up.

___

Dear Diary,

It’s a big day today. Exactly three years. Three years ago today, my best friend had fallen, taking his nation, his symphony down with him, forever to stay unfinished. Today is the day we take the reins, The nation? It’s no longer his. His symphony, may he protest all he wants, ends today. We’ve rebuilt this nation into land of happy people. Scarred and shattered pieces have been carefully put together.

Today, we celebrate. There is a moment for quiet mourning, for what we’ve lost and who we’ve left behind. Then we’ll sing and cheer and move on, there we’ll have nothing to mourn anymore, we will be free, and we will be happy. Almost. Not yet.

For the country, the recovery finishes today. For us three, there is still a lot of missing pieces. Us three… Honestly, I am a bit ashamed that I have never written about Ranboo, after all that happened, I think I just… wanted to keep him, have this one thing for myself. Ranboo showed up very tall, very awkward, half enderman and alone. Where from? God knows. Or maybe he doesn’t, Dream seemed confused as well.   
Ranboo emerged from L’man-hole in midst of all ongoing chaos, made friends with literally everybody on the server and stayed for good. He supported Tubbo during his workdays and fooled around during free ones. He got half-adopted by Phil in just the few weeks the man was still there. He visited Tommy during exile and probably kept him sane and safe. As much as he could.  
He stayed with me and Fundy when there was no one left and become as much of a little brother as our boys (maybe, just maybe, even more so). I had, for the past three years, protected L’manburg like a lion mother and protected Ranboo twice as much. He made friends with people already at war and had to pay the price for history he wouldn’t remember even if he were here to witness it. Now it is him that supports me.

I will need all the strength I can get; I’m bringing everyone home. I will go track them down and drag here with brute force if that’s what I must do. Will too. I’ve been reading, writing, researching a lot, I’m sure you know, and I’m certain that’s what I want. Even if it costs me a life. I miss that bastard so much. We talked, yesterday. Me and Wilbur, not Ghostbur. He’s the bravest fucking coward I have met. 

When I was walking back, I saw Dream on the hill. Suck it up, green boy, I will be talking to you soon.

___

Dear Diary,  
Fundy’s in. I’m taking Ranboo with me. If I’m fully honest, I’m glad he offered.  
Dream won’t stop us. Good.

___

Dear diary.   
We’ve got Phil. I’m starting to feel it’ll be alright, after all.

___

Dear Diary,  
Technoblede entered SMP today. Dream was there to greet him. I know he misses them too. I know he regrets. He’s just too much of a coward to try fixing things. That’s alright, I’m doing most of the job for him. He can try if he’s ever ready to. (I don’t think he will.)

___

Dear Diary,  
I feel stupid. I forgot how much I love Eret. Three down, three to go <3

___

Diary,

I found all of my boys. There’s only one last thing I have to do. I have never died before, but I’m not scared. It has to be done. We will be happy again.

___

Dearest diary,

Today I watched all of my friends, from the top of podium, during _my_ speech. I did it. I’ve brought them home. Today is exactly four years since my best friend died, three years since I lost hope, two years since I gained her back and one since I realized my hope was never futile. It’s one year since I died, and I don’t remember when the last time was that I felt so alive.

I’m proud of each and every one of them. They’ve overcome so much, fixed so many broken things. I watch Dream watch me from afar and hope that someday he can do that too.

I am a, considerably, small person, so if in my shadow you see a silhouette of a woman that stands tall, it is because of the light the others brought upon me. They brought me hope and in return I gave them all of my love and my strength. 

That’s the way it will always be.

Ever-loving, happy and proud  
 _Niki Nihachu_

.


	7. I'm sorry for it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my favourite one, in all honesty. Although after the writing-spree in which i finish the previous one I'm happy about them both. happy much.

.

Father, will you lend me a hand?  
Just like you did for many years before.  
I’m sorry for asking you for all these things,  
I’m sorry I’m still asking more.  
Father, can you hold me again?  
Do I still deserve you after all I’ve done?  
I know he failed to make you proud,  
The man, that I have become.

Brother, I know I have failed  
I was meant to always stay right by your side  
Promised you the world then took yours away  
And were you even surprised?  
Brother, you’ve been left alone  
An abandoned sibling, never cared for son  
Right now, I’m not sure if you can forget  
All things that I’ve done and regret.

Brother, do you regret it, too?  
Or is it just me?   
How is it for you?  
How can I go back, how to make amends  
With blood on my hands?

Son, can I have your forgiveness?  
It’s more than I should be asking for  
He’s proud of you  
He’s so fucking proud  
Your father, the me from before.  
our sister was right, I’m a fucking coward  
Crazy merely ghost of a man ago  
Now I understand what you used to say  
It is always colder when you’re on your own.

I didn’t think I would live again  
I didn’t think I could face home.  
Because I can’t walk on my own  
Sister,  
will you lend me your strength?  
Sister, I don’t need your life.  
It was yours to bear and it’s yours to keep.  
And it’s not your concern that I wasted mine  
Immersed in dark, restless sleep.  
You have wasted time, you’ve wasted your breath  
While I’ve been engaging all the Gods above  
Are you still so willing to give me your strength?  
Are you still so willing to love?

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. That's my finished symphony.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, like, I was eating roasted hazelnuts and got this banger Idea for this work, then reduced it by half and procrastinated for two weeks straight.  
> I wanted to post the finished work all at once, but hey.  
> I feel like if I don't post it now I won't write even one word more, so here we go.  
> I'm a sucker for comments, still <3


End file.
